Blood Stained Wings
by Kitsuni
Summary: *1/22/02- New chapter added* Yamato Ishida goes through the most twisted part of his life as he begins to dream and see things in a more dark and violent way..
1. chapter I

Blood Stained Wings  
  
by JoltY  
  
---  
  
(Author's Note: Sadly, it has been too long since I have written something dark and depressing, especially since I enjoy the style of writing so much. I began to think as I sat at my computer, pondering which Digimon character would best fit the part for my torture. And, of course, the face of that loveable, fuckable Digidestined came into the view in my sick, sadistic mind. Yamato Ishida, world-known blonde god, of course! XP And, with a little cheeky grin, I began to type away at this baby. I should warn you, before you read on, that this story contains a lot of disturbing images, so those with weak stomachs should sit this one out. I should also give a word a caution to any Sorato or Taito fans that are extremely hardcore and protective in their beliefs, because Sora and Taichi seem to really.. *ahem* "tinker around" with Yamato's little mind. As a matter of fact, Yamato fans in-particular should continue on with a word of advice: there is alot of Yama-torture in this 'fic, so if you love him so damn much that it would make you cry hysterically if you thought of him being tortured, then you definitely should not continue on. Perhaps, in future chapters, there will be some yaoi, but there also might not be, so you really shouldn't be concerned with that at the moment.  
  
So, I invite you to sit back, relax, and enjoy the brainchild of my evil fantasies: Blood Stained Wings. Hope you enjoy =)  
  
--JoltY, aka Jorutii Sama, the enraged Jyou Kido fangirl.)  
  
  
  
---  
  
begin: chapter I  
  
  
  
  
  
Yamato felt sick. Very sick. The pain simply grew in his stomach, piercing sharply into his muscles, causing the contents inside his digestive system to jump out of his throat and to the floor beside him. Sweat beaded down his fine, pale face, his blue eyes wide open as he sat up quickly in his bed. Yamato felt his face with his damp hand, and sighed with relief. He flopped back into his bed, and closed his eyes softly, trying to get back to sleep.  
  
He couldn't. The images of the horrible nightmare he had last night kept flashing in his brain, as if his own mind was torturing him. The blonde ran his callused fingers through his messy, yellow mop of hair as he opened his eyes to stare at the ceiling. The eyes then trailed over to the digital clocked that beamed on the stand beside his bed, and squinted to see it more clearly. Its red numbers beamed "7:20". Too damn early, Yama thought to himself as he felt his stomach tremble as he peered down to the contents he let up moments before.  
  
He stuck out his tongue in disgust, and rolled onto his belly and dug his face into the soft pillow below him. An arm hanged lazily over the side of the bed, and Yamato kept squirming in and out of the covers, his body much too hot for the unnecessary blankets. When he was finally in a decent position, he simply layed there, his eyes staring blankly into space.  
  
No use staring into space, Yamato thought. He growled under his breath and cursed himself for even having that wretched nightmare last night, although it wasn't really his decision to have it in the first place. He rose from his bed and stretched, his backbones cracking loudly, destroying the prolonged silence that hung over the room eerily. He slipped on a dirty shirt and khakis and walked drowzily into the bathroom, seizing his toothbrush and pushing toothpaste onto the soft bristles. Yamato brushed his teeth quickly, and after he spat into the sink, he looked up into the mirror, and the expression on his face turned from sleepy to shocked.  
  
His face was a sheet of white, with heavy bags seeping down under his dreary eyes. His hair was a knotted mess, and his entire body was damp with sweat. A small trail of vomit that had dried was stuck on his chin stuck out distubingly. Yamato reached for a washcloth, dampened it, and cleaned off his face. Still, he looked frightening and deshelved. Yama took his hands into his face and sat down on the seat of the toilet behind him.  
  
"What's.. happening to me?" he asked in a shaky tone that was barely audible. He felt tears streak down his cheeks, and he rubbed them away violently with his palms. Shortly, those simple tears turned into loud sobs, and he drooped to the floor and curled into a ball. Yamato was shaking violently, even after the sobs resided, and just layed there in a ball, hugging himself tightly for what seemed like hours. His eyes were shut closed, trying to close out the noises outside the window, and also the dream he had. That horrible, fucking dream. Just thinking about it wanted to make Yama vomit violently again. The stench of his mess had flooded the air, and his arms rubbed against his slim shoulders. He started to cry again, but he didn't know exactly why he was. It just seemed to come naturally now, and if he had to fake crying from now on, he could do it with great ease. But not like he was proud of that, anyways.  
  
"I'm falling apart.." he whimpered pathetically. He hugged his knees and began to rock back and forth, his eyes shooting around the room. Yamato never felt so scared and so worthless in his entire life. He had no idea why he felt like total and complete shit. He had it good and he knew it: a loving girlfriend, fame and respect from his classmates at school, and a chart-topping band were all in his posession. Suddenly, a warmth filled his body, but it only made his pain and anguish worse. Yamato felt like ripping his clothing off and throw them out the window at the people below. He felt trapped.. shut off.. deprived of so much. He wanted to end it all.. end his pain.. but he simply could not do that. He didn't have the guts to commit suicide.  
  
And then, the worst thing that could have happened at that moment to Yamato happened: the awful nightmare came back. It replayed slowly in his mind as the blonde slipped slowly and silently into a neverending madness, which caused his throat to gulp heavily, and make his breathing heavier and thicker. Let's take a little peek, shall we?  
  
~*~*~  
  
The scenery was something you would only find in a horror movie. It was a white room with stains of blood spotted on the walls, giving the room an eerie red glow. Yamato stood inside it, looking around in a puzzled manner, his mouth hung open in wonder and shock. At first, nothing could even get out of his throat, but after minuets of gawking stupidly, he was finally able to say something.  
  
"W-where am I..?" he managed to croak. He felt an invisible force slam him down to the floor, which made his eyes widen in the sudden shock. He felt himself shake nervously, his bones turning as cold as ice. Suddenly, a figure appeared infront of him, which seemed very faded at first, until it finally cleared up. When it did, Yamato gasped in pure shock, and he felt his heart beating at an abnormally fast rate. His mouth went dry and he was at a total loss for words.  
  
Before him was the figure of his long-time love, Sora Takenouchi. But, her face was frighteningly different in its features, which made Yamato extremely nervous. Her face, unlike it's brilliant tan glow, was a ghostly pale, her eyes stared blankly before her, and her hair had lost all color. To his surprise, Yama jumped back as Sora slumped to the floor, lifeless. In her back was a butcher knife, ingraved in her spine, and her clothing a complete mess of blood. Yamato caught her in the midst of her falling, and two beads of blood trail down each side of her mouth. He looked at her in horror, his blue eyes scanning her from head to toe. He began to cry softly, trying to tell himself that it was all a horrible, twisted dream..  
  
A tanned hand grabbed Sora by her shoulder, and drew her back up. Yamato watched, and he scrambled to his feet as he saw the face of the murderer: Taichi Yagami. To his amazement, however, Sora was standing, the color in her hair returned, and had an arm wrapped around Taichi as she sent him loving gazes. Yamato growled lowly under his breath, trying to say something, but was unable to even get a sound out. Taichi and Sora laughed evily, their shrills echoing in the large room.  
  
"Is this your worst nightmare?" Taichi asked coldly, and resumed to kiss Sora gingerly on the forehead. "Weak, you are, little Ishida. I've had more terrifying thougts than this, and I was wide awake, nonetheless!" Yamato's lower lip began to tremble, and all he could manage to do was shake violently, his arms hugging his legs, and his eyes welling up with tears. The two images began to laugh again, and pointed to Yamato and made rude comments about him to each other without a care in the world. Yama felt like punching himself in the stomach to wake himself up. He took his hand and rubbed his cheeks, and when he withdrew his hands from his face his jaw dropped: blood. He was crying blood. This was, of course, much to Sora and Taichi's amusement, and shortly they began to kick and taunt him. His vision began to black out.. his eyes becoming blind. And when his vocal chords finally broke out of a freeze, he screamed. He screamed so loudly that he could hear glass crashing to the floor. But now a new problem arised.. he couldn't stop screaming. He was blind, helpless, and screaming with no control. He wanted to escape. He wanted to so, so, badly, it made all his muscles ache.  
  
And with that, he awoke.  
  
~*~*~  
  
Yamato cried again, his ears beating loudly, like drums were being bashed in his ears. He wiped his cheeks harshly, and he felt his heart sink down to the bottom of his body as he looked at his hands:  
  
Blood. Fresh, red blood was pouring out of his eyes.  
  
With that, he shrieked so loudly that possibly all of Odaiba could hear his scream: "WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED TO ME?!"  
  
  
  
  
  
---  
  
Finis-- chap. II coming soon.  
  
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Well, how'd you like that sucker? Please read and review if you'd like. I highly enjoy plently of constructive critisism, even if it's a negative comment. I love to learn. ^^ 


	2. chapter II

Blood Stained Wings

by JoltY

(Author's Note: Chapter two. Yay.)

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begin: chapter II

Yamato felt horrible. Perhaps it was because that his mind was totally twisted out of proportion. Or maybe it was because he just vomited three times in the bathroom. Of course, he didn't care what it was.. he wanted the pain to go away.. for it all to dissolve from his mind. He closed his eyes, and smiled awkwardly, proud of himself for calming down. Yamato opened his eyes slightly, his sapphire eyes darting to a razor, resting on the edge of the sink. He licked his lips in a hungry tone, and reached for it quickly, holding it to his chest like a frightened child stealing a toy from a store. He looked at the sharp-edged razor and smirked, lowering it down to his wrist.

He winced in pain as he discovered what he had just accomplished. A few drops of blood trailed down his arm, slinking down his elbow and eventually dripping to the tiled floor below. He hend his wrist and shut his eyes tightly, but suddenly realized that.. it didn't really hurt at all. It actually kind of relieved him, in a sense. He withdrew his blood-soaked hand and stared at the cascades of the red liquid showering his arm, and smiled briefly.

"I suppose this is the cure to my pain after all.." he said to himself in a low mutter. Yamato threw the razor to the floor and changed his position, sitting indian-style. His cruel smile grew wider and continued to say, "Yes.. the cure.." And with that, he did a very unpleasant thing: he drew his tongue out of his mouth and closed his eyes softly, and licked the fresh blood from his arm. The liquid tasted very salty and thin, like vinegar. At first, he wrinkled his face in disgust, but it eventually faded away as he began to slowly adapt to the taste. Shortly, he licked up the last of the blood, and smacked his lips together in a sastified manner.

"Atlead I didn't lose any blood," he implied to himself coyly. He rose up from his position and washed off his razor and some dried, crusty blood from his hand, and cleaned up the floor. He put on his overshirt and combed his hair, smoothing it down here and there with his hand. He noticed it felt extremely oily, and recalled not taking a shower since a week ago. Yamato shrugged and said, "I'll do it later," as he walked outside with his keys and to his car.

---

Yamato noticed a familiar face walking along the road. He squinted slightly to get a better view of the figure, and realized it was Jyou Kido, his friend. He pulled over to the side of the road and rose from his car, shutting the door behind him. He leaned on the windshield casually, placing a hand in his pocket. Jyou looked up from the book he was reading and smiled at Yamato, stopping in his tracks.

"Hi Yamato," he said, waving a hand. Yamato smiled and stuffed his hands in his jackets' pockets.

"How are you, Jyou?" he asked after an awkward pause. Jyou shut his book and placed it inside his own pocket and replied, "I'm good, Yama. And I presume you are doing well, Yama?"

Yamato couldn't exactly find words to answer that question. He looked down to the ground and pursed his lips together. He looked at Jyou who had his head cocked down and his eyebrows raised, convincing him to continue. _I hate to lie, but I guess I have no choice,_ Yamato thought to himself.

"I'm doing fine, Jyou," he said in a low voice. Jyou blinked and furrowed his brows, placing his hands on his hips. "What's that, Yamato? You need to speak up--"

"I'M FINE, DAMNIT!" Yamato yelled at Jyou, who withdrew back about a foot, surprised at his friend's sudden outburst. Yamato realised what he had done, and lowered his head, his eyes fighting stinging tears. Jyou placed a hand on his shoulder, rubbing it softly, as if to cool Yama down. "Please.."

"No.." Yamato said, wide-eyed, as if he had gone insane. Jyou raised his hands protectively infront of him, sweatdropping. Yamato shuffled into his car and drove out in such a speed that it formed skid marks in the road. Jyou simply stood, confused and shrouded in the smoke from Yamato's tires.

---

Yamato drove well over the speed limit down a mountain road. His eyes were wide and his face in a deep frown. _This can't be happening.. no.. it can't._

Images in his mind reeled the frightening dream over and over again. Sora.. Taichi.. blood.. tears.. all of it. Yamato felt himself weaken, and eventually went into tears. _No.. make it stop.. make it stop!_ He wiped his tears away from his cheeks and stared at them in shock.

__

It's happening again! Blood. _FUCK!_ He felt his foot, as if being driven by some force, slam the peddle, causing the car to go faster.

__

Too fast.. no.. why.. why me? He asked himself that over and over. His eyes flashed infront of him as he felt a surge of fright circulate down his spine. Before him was a sharp curve, with a grove of trees behind it. Obviously, something, or some_one_ in his body made his foot floor the gas petal, making the car hurl into the trees. The windshield shattered to pieces, metal flying everywhere. Glass shattered as Yamato, not wearing his seatbelt, flew out the windshield, toppling over the hood of the front of the car, and his back flinging into the tree infront of him. Blood was all over the place, cuts and bruises all over his body.

---

He woke up. Yamato found himself in a dark room, of, well, nothing. He looked around and yelled, "Hello?"

His voice echoed eerily in the room, different voices mocking his voice. His eyes widened, and retreated back. He fell to the floor because he couldn't find any walls to lean against to break his fall, and when he looked up, he found.. himself. A complete copy of himself. Same hair, same clothing, same everything. However, he was all black and white, as if from some old movie. Yamato winced at this, and asked in a shaky voice, "Who.. who are you?"

The image smiled, leaning down next to the frightened colored image. He cupped his hands in his face and cooed, "Shh. It shall be alright."

He coughed, and withdrew his hands. "I am you. My name is Yamato Ishida. I live in Odaiba, Japan, and I have a hit rock band. My girlfriend is Sora Takenouchi, and my best friend is Taichi Yagami."

Yamato blinked stupidly. The image cleared his throat. "Obviously, you don't understand, but if you calm down, I shall tell you."

Yamato nodded, his face blank of emotion. The image continued. "I am your concience, Yamato. In a sense, I am your guardian angel, and the voice in the back of your head. I am only to communicate with you personally in a time of great need, and this is one of those times, I'm afraid. Your physical body is nearly dead, and is in a coma. There isn't much time for you to live."

Yamato blinked, and nodded again. "Aren't you cheerful," the image said dryly. "Thankfully, you'll survive. Well, you'll live to see the next week, atleast.." his voice trailed off. He touched Yamato's head and spoke, "You must dream great things, not horrible things. Try to drift from your nightmares. They are the things hurting you most. You are afraid of them. Try to get your mind off your fears."

Yamato, once again, nodded. The image dissolved nearly as quickly as he came, and the black surroundings disappeared.

---

"He is in a deep coma. He was in one of the worst crashes I've seen in a long time."

Taichi Yagami nodded slowly, holding his head in his hands as he sat in the Emergency Room of the Odaiba hospital. Sora sat next to him, crying heavily and using up atleast two boxes of tissues. Mr. Ishida and Miss Takaishi sat together, across from Taichi and Sora. Miss Takaishi was crying, but not nearly as hard as Sora, who was in hysterics. Mr. Ishida simply sat there, silent and still. _I wish I could have done something.. I looked all afternoon for him.._

There was a long silence. Taichi finally managed to choke out, "I.. I g-gues I'll c-call the other d-digid-destined.." and he rose from his seat, rushing to the nearest payphone.

---

Yamato could feel his eyes open slowly, only being able to manage to open them slightly. His vision was completely blurred, and he was resting on a white bed, with casts and wrappings all over his body. He shifted in his bed and winced as the pain ran down his back, growing as he layed back farther. _Rest.. get my mind off things.. yes, that's what I need.._ Yamato closed his eyes again just as the nurse entered the room to check on him. _Yes.. rest.._

---

finis. chapter III coming soon.

Mweh, sorry it wasn't as descriptive as before, but I'm tired x.x hope this story doesn't seem too rushed. -_- anyways, please R/R! If you'd like to, of course.


	3. chapter III

Blood Stained Wings  
  
By JoltY  
  
  
  
(Author's Note: Chapter three. Now the story begins to get creepy. Heh heh.)  
  
---  
  
  
  
begin: chapter III  
  
  
  
  
  
Yaaaaamaaaaaaaa?  
  
Yamato could hear a voice.. a calm, soothing, almost heavenly voice. He tried to open his eyes to see who it was, but his eyes felt as if they were crusted closed.. which made him feel alittle uncomfortable. The voice continued to speak.  
  
Yaamaaaa, are you theeeeere?  
  
His curiousity was driving him mad. Yamato had to see who was talking. After many failed attempts, he finally managed to open his eyes, which shot open instantly. This caused the voice, a.k.a Taichi Yagami, to jump back in surprise. Yamato blinked a few times, and peered over to his friend, who looked down at him with great concern. Taichi stared at him, and eventually sighed, relieved. Yamato cocked an eyebrow.  
  
"Taichi..?" he asked in a weak voice. Taichi could feel his eyes welled up by tears, and he nodded slowly. "Yama.." he said cooly, "Are you alright?"  
  
Yamato glared at him jokingly. "I just drove my car into a tree. How do you think I feel?"  
  
Taichi blinked, and twidled his thumbs. "I.. er.." he began, but he was cut off by Sora, who rushed into the room and leaned down into Yamato's face. He grunted awkwardly and licked his lips, nodding to Sora as if saying 'hello'.  
  
Sora wiped some fresh tears from her cheeks and sniffed loudly. "You're alive!" she exclaimed, and reached out to hug him. However, she suddenly remembered how badly hurt Yamato was, and perhaps physical contact wasn't the best remedy at the moment. She withdrew her arms back to her chest and asked sheepishly, "Yamato, what were you thinking? You had to have done it on purpose, because you obviously weren't drunk!"  
  
Yamato wasn't too sure how to answer that question. He tried shifting in his bed, finding his current position uncomfortable, but every time he moved he felt worse, so he stopped. Taichi ran a hand through Yamato's oily, dirty hair, but didn't mind his not-very-hygenic-friend's hair. He stared down at Yamato like an angel from heaven looking down upon Adam; full of peacefulness and joy. Yamato shared the same gaze back, and a pause was shared between the two. Sora didn't really understand what was going on here, and she waved a hand between the two, snapping them back to reality.  
  
"Uhh.. I think I'll leave you two alone, then?" she asked, sounding a big sarcastic. Taichi rolled his eyes and muttered, "Grow up.." as Sora passed him, which was answered by a swift (yet playful) punch.  
  
Sora left the room, leaving Taichi and Yamato alone. The tall-haired boy grabbed a chair from nearby and placed it by Yamato's bed, and sat in it afterwards. He leaned on the bed's rail, and another awkward pause grew between them.  
  
"Yama, what WERE you thinking?" Taichi asked, restating Sora's question from earlier. Yamato looked at him blankly, still not knowing how to answer it. He decided to answer than sit there like a goof all day.  
  
"I have no idea.." the blonde started. "I just felt my foot thrust on the gas pedal, and before I could know what was going on I was thrown out my windshield and into a tree. That's all I can remember.. but I know that it wasn't my fault, Taichi. Something did it, not me."  
  
Taichi blinked stupidly, and lowered his head. "What?" he asked, sounding dumb. Yamato sighed and leaned his his back, staring at the ceiling. "I don't know how else to phrase it.." he replied. Taichi nodded, understanding.. well, he kind of understood, anyways.  
  
"I guess I'll leave you here to rest.." Taichi responded. Yamato nodded slightly, and his friend left after that. Within minutes, Yama was back to a deep sleep.  
  
  
  
---  
  
  
  
He appeared back into the dark room again. This time, he didn't act as surprised, for he knew why he was here: he needed to ask some questions to that.. angel.. concience.. guy. He looked around, and shouted, "Hey, guardian angel!"  
  
His colorless duplicate popped up out of nowhere, smiling coyly. "What is it, young one?"  
  
Yamato didn't smile, which caused his copy to slowly frown. Yamato breathed in deeply and asked, "What caused me to accelerate my car? Why did I have that dream? Why was I crying blood?"  
  
His copy shook his head, his eyes closed. "Tsk tsk.. human bodies. They always ask questions." He took Yamato's hand and massaged it slowly, "You were not actually crying blood, first off. It was an image created by your mind. You were crying regular tears, but your brain saw it as blood, since that's all you were thinking of at the time. Understand?"  
  
Yamato shook his head. "No, I don't. I see things how they are, not how I want things to look."  
  
His copy stopped him. "Ah ah, but you didn't wan to see it, however, did you? Your mind reflected that image whether you liked it or not. It's a psychiological thing."  
  
Yamato's stare grew cold. "I don't believe you. What caused me to accelerate my car?"  
  
The copy laughed, a little more sadistically than originally implied. "Silly boy! That was you who accelerated that car. You're just in a deep denial about it. And the dream? Everyone has nightmares. What a crybaby you are!"  
  
Yamato sighed, and sat on the ground, rubbing him temples. His copy patted him on the back reassuringly. "Now now, everyone gets confused with themselves at one point or another. You're just not used to it. In time, you shall cope with the facts." Yamato shook his head, raising from the ground and raising his fists.  
  
"No! That can't be true! I can't be going crazy!"  
  
  
  
---  
  
  
  
Yamato awoke in a cold sweat. His parents were hovering over him, peering down at him curiously. He opened his eyes slightly, not used to the sudden glaring lights, and was greeted by Miss Takaishi's cheery voice.  
  
"SON! YOU'RE ALIVE!" she exclaimed, and grabbed Yamato's hand tightly, causing him to wince in pain. Mr. Ishida growled, and slapped his ex-wife's hand away lightly.  
  
"Nancy!" he said a bit loudly, and when he noticed that nurses and such were staring at him, he lowered his tone down. "Don't be so physical with the boy. He's recovering from a very bad accident!"  
  
Miss Takaishi nodded, and withdrew her warm hand. She looked down at Yamato's pale faced and asked, "Honey, are you alright?"  
  
Yamato thought about that question for a moment. Would he lie to his parents like he did with Jyou earlier, or would he be honest? "I'm alright. A bit conked, but fine."  
  
Mr. Ishida grunted, and placed his hands at his hips. "Son.. why'd you do it?" he asked, running a hand casually through his hair. Yamato sent a glare at him, but his father obviously didn't notice. That damn question again, Yamato thought. Why'd he have to ask that?  
  
Yamato shrugged. "I have no idea." Mr. Ishida stood for about a minute, emotionless. Eventually, he grabbed Miss Takaishi's hand, and proceeded to the door. "He's a little delirious from the drugs and painkillers they game 'im, give him a few hours and he'll be fine to tell us his story."  
  
Before Mrs. Takaishi could argue, she was already dragged out the door.  
  
---  
  
  
  
  
  
finis: chapter IV coming soon.  
  
  
  
(A/N: Yes, that chapter was short. _ Oh well though, please R&R!) 


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